18.I’m confused. Is massage supposed to be sexy or not?

If you’re talking about downtown massage parlors with names like The Dew Drop Inn, Kitten’s Purrfect Touch, or Candy Barr’s Boom Room, the answer is yes, they’re supposed to be sexy. For a fee, a friendly person gives you a massage and then an orgasm. This is the public side of massage.
Considering massage seriously, however, confronts us with our definitions of sexuality. Legitimate, private massage is a totally sensuous experience. We put our body in some one else’s hands letting him or her nurture us. We feel skin, muscles, and joints normally taken for granted. Our focus becomes, simply, whatever the body wants and needs.
Is this sexual? It’s not genital and there’s no orgasm. But you do bond with another person on a physical level. You breathe deeply, subordinating your thinking mind to your feeling body. You enjoy your body for its own sake, experiencing it as animals do—without any external “meaning.” We can say this isn’t sexual, but if so, how exactly do we define sex?